Liar Liar Pants On Fire!

We do our best to teach our children by example. To love them lavishly and to take every opportunity we can to talk about things that are right and wrong, what are good choices and bad, and to say things that build people up and help them rather than things that hurt and tear down.

Lately our kids have been testing the waters of, how shall I say, not always telling the truth. I'm not calling them liars, I think it's pretty normal for kids to discover that not always telling exactly what happened (aka: the truth) can grant them omission from consequences (punsishment). "No, I didn't push her", "It was an accident", "I had it first and she took it from me". It's smart really. They are discovering that they have the power of words. Words to tell stories, and it's our job as parents to teach them what the "truth" is. I mean, let's think about this for a minute: We talk about things that aren't true all the time and call it "fantasy". We make-believe there is really tea in the teapot and guests at our weddings. Barbies can talk and teddy's do drink milk from their mommies. So when you ask a 2 or 3 year old "what happened", it's actually quite normal for them to either embellish (pretend?) or omit (forget?) or plain make up (imagine?).

Then one day the light goes on: "Hey, if I don't tell what I really did, or what really happened maybe, just maybe I won't get a consequence".

This is another reason why it's SO important for us parents to be paying attention. The longer I journey on this road of parenthood, the more aware I am of the fact that being good parents takes a lot of time and a lot of attention. I am not by any means claiming to be a "good parent", I'm simply acknowledging this truth.

For me it's so easy to get caught up in the demands of the day: tasks and chores around the house, phone calls and emails to answer, errands to run. Sometimes parenting these precious little ones can fall low on the list of daily priorties without even realizing it. If we're not paying attention in these crucial formative years, then we will reap what we sow (or don't sow). They will learn quickly that they can get away with things that if we were aware of we would never allow. Be assured that if given the chance they will stuff their face with garbage, they will take toys from other kids, and they might use their hands instead of their words to get what they want.

For me, being a "good parent" means that I have to constantly give myself permission to not wash the floors and play princesses one more time, instead. It means sometimes that my laundry isn't always folded (or more likely not put away), but that I've been a customer at 'Birtchino's' today. I migh not have turned a page in my book for a month, but together my children and I have turned dozens (if not hundreds!). But it's not easy. In fact, it's a battle reminding myself of this CONSTANTLY during the day. I'll never get these years back. Eventually the phone will ring for them. One day they will think my reading to them is cheesey. And oh, how I know I will long for these precious times back. God help me to lavish them with play and gentle correction. Mother through me with grace and enthusiasm. Give me wisdom and discernment to see the heart behind their actions and to teach them well.

So, lying. Yeah, we're aware that they are in a season of learning about telling the truth. And we are grateful to be aware of it and will do our best to teach them well. And as they are learning they are also teaching. I am more aware of how dishonesty creeps into my own life and heart. But that's a whole other blog post for another day!