Oh be careful little ears what you hear
For the Father up above is looking down in love
So be careful little eyes/ears what you see/hear.
Do you know that song? Did you ever sing it at Sunday School, or in your house? Please, let me share with you why I hate that song:
A couple of weeks ago I wrote about how our little pickle-in-the-middle has been learning about telling the truth (see previous post Liar Liar Pants On Fire if you care to read more about that). I’ve been wanting to blog more about that ever since that post.
One day when I was trying to explain to Olivia why we need to tell the truth, I said the same, typical things that I normally say. We talk about what is right and wrong and that God is love and wants what is best for us. Therefore, he gives us “rules” to obey because they are for our own good because He loves us. We have explained that lying is something that hurts people etc. and that’s why God says to tell the truth.
For some reason, however, I found myself telling her things that I was told (from various sources) growing up. I explained to her that when we do things that disobey God, that is sin. I told her that sin makes our hearts dirty. She has an understanding of Jesus and that he died on the cross to make our hearts clean and give us a home in heaven. So telling her that sin makes her heart dirty made sense to her. Of course then we talked about asking God to make her heart clean again.
Almost immediately after I said it, I felt sick. And I felt something heavy in my spirit. I carried that with me for a day or so, replaying our little talk over and over again. Eventually I realized it was because I told her something that although I had believed most of my life, I now see such error in. Simply put: I don’t believe that we make our hearts dirty (again) with sin. I don’t believe that our value is based on performance. And I never, ever want to convey that it is to our kids.
Now, some of you who have grown up in the Church and have always believed this to be the case, please hear me out before you write me off!
When Christ died on that cross, he paid the debt for ALL my sin. He didn’t die just for the sin that I acknowledge or seek forgiveness on. I could never confess it all! What does that do to us when we think we have to keep our hearts “clean”? It keeps us performance-driven. For years I would fall asleep asking God to ‘forgive all my sins today’, because I wanted that clean heart. I didn’t always know what I was asking forgiveness for, but surely I needed it. I wanted to stay in God’s “good books”, if that makes sense.
These last few years I’ve been on a real journey learning that forgiveness is a way of life; not an event. God is not a divine policeman waiting to catch me with his radar gun. You can’t foster a relationship with someone that is always checking your performance to make sure it’s adequate enough to merit your friendship.
Most of us are familiar with the song mentioned above. When you sing it, what happens? You think of things that your eyes have seen that the Father would disapprove of. It made you feel bad (maybe as a kid I mean), but did it keep you from doing it? That’s the worst thing that religion does my friend. While we are thinking about words like ‘father’ and ‘love’, we are feeling guilty and distanced from him. We use guilt (in songs like that) to conform behavior, all the while never realizing that same guilt will keep us far from our loving Father shoving us away in times of need instead of liberating us to run to him! The focus is on us and our awfulness and not on God and his goodness and graciousness. He understands our inadequacy and wants to meet us in our sinfulness and transform us to be his children, not based on our efforts but his!
See, that’s the truth. And that’s why Christ died.
As a parent, if there is one thing I want my children to know is that they are loved. Period. They are loved by a father who knows everything about them and loves them completely. Not because they have earned it or even deserve it.
And so we talked to our treasures and explained that what I had said wasn’t really right. We opened Daddy’s bible together and read about how there is NO condemnation for God’s kids (Romans 8:1), meaning our hearts ARE CLEAN, FOREVER. Our sins are separated as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103:12)
Sure there’s more to it. More for them to learn and understand. But this is the foundation. If they, if we can’t get this part of it right then the rest is based on a fallacy: a false premise that there’s some kind of score-keeping.
Sometimes Mommies and Daddies don’t get it right either. And when we don’t I am grateful beyond words that my gracious father hears my petitions for him to mother through me. He gently corrects me and shows me His loving faithfulness. Thank you Father that what I mess up, you redeem.
Oh and I like this song much better:
My chains are gone, I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood his mercy reigns
Uneding love
Amazing grace
*I'd like to credit Wayne Jacobsen for his original thinking which contributes to much of my journey! Thank you! http://www.lifestream.org/
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