Provoked To Thought

Today Nathan read an article in The National Post reviewing a book. This is a quote that has provoked us to further thought:

"He leaves readers with more questions because he hasn’t really done his job as a teacher, which is what a minister is supposed to be. Instead, he has become a provocateur."

The origin of the word 'provocateur' is 'challenger'.

So a teacher is not a challenger? A teacher is not someone that provokes you to thought? I suppose then a teacher does not ask questions, or inspire and require you to ask them yourself. No, a true teacher will tell you just what you should think then.

It is possible, that if the questions posed make some uncomfortable, then the one responsible for composing them or stirring them must be trying to cause dissension.

Well, that may be true sometimes. So which is it then? Is the person in fact a teacher, wanting you to search for the answers to difficult questions, rather than giving them all to you on a spoon?

Or, is the person simply getting his kicks from causing trouble?

I don't know. But I hope that I have provoked you to think before you swallow.

Or at least think about what you are swallowing.

It's Not Just What You Say, But HOW You Say It

C'mon, haven't we all heard that from our Mothers?

It's not just what you say, but HOW you say it.

And don't we all find ourselves repeating the things our Mothers told us? We vow not to, but it's inevitable. And So I have found these words exiting my mouth on several occasions the past little while.

I can't deny the truth in it. I absolutely hate it when someone says my name in a heated discussion. I'm not sure I can explain it well, but something like, "No Paula, that is not what I said". Or "Don't you think you're blowing it a little out of proportin, PAULA". I feel a little roar welling up inside me just thinking about it. I hate it hate it hate it. (That and "relax".)

So now that you know how to really get me going (please don't!), I have had these same words come back to me. Another "ah-ha" moment.

I recently found myself getting very frustrated lately with the kids. The girls naturally have little squabbles and bouts of bickering. They instinctively rip breakables out of their little brother's hand and shout "NO" at him when he's getting into their stuff. And I have been reacting.

I was telling my friend that I was saying all the same things that used to "work" and now didn't. Or when she would offer gracious parenting advice she was suggesting things I was already saying.

And then it hit me. It wasn't WHAT I was saying, it was HOW I was saying it.

Duh. How could I be so ignorant? I'm the pot calling the kettle black. I felt so foolish. My error was obvious and I felt so embarrassed and guilty.

When I had just one, or even two I was much more patient.

But I also had a lot more "free time". The girls napped, allowing me at least 1 1/2 hours in the afternoon to do things. And don't forget that amazing little thing called a morning nap! They were in bed by 7pm. Meals weren't quite so large and eaters weren't quite so 'opinionated', shall we say. Clothes seemed to stay cleaner longer. And I wasn't so tired all the time.

Now, with 3 little ones I am always doing something. I am always busy and so it's become my norm to parent from across the room, or the other room sometimes. My attention is often divided. When I need to I stop and deal with the issues, but my attitude is not compassion, understanding, or gentle. Forgive me Lord. I've gotten too busy. I need to reposition my priorities and focus. Slow down Paula. It's not just what I say, but how I say it. Stop. Squat down. Look in their eyes. Be gentle.

Deep breath.

I am learning. I don't hold the guilt for long. That's not walking in the freedom of Christ that I know is mine. I am sorry, and I am grateful for this revelation and loving correction from my Father. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord for loving me gently into a better way to love.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Galatians 5:1

Look Who's FIVE!

I can barely bring myself to write this. How can I be putting together a birthday blessing for my baby.... Age FIVE?! Five is a milestone. A big one. It is HUGE.
When my little girl was born, I held her so close all night long. Every minute that passed I remember thinking: "She's one minute older. Wow, the seconds are just ticking away". Then 4am came and I remember thinking, "this is the first 4am of her life!" It was Friday, and I naturally thought, "wow, I am holding someone who has never experienced a Friday!" then Saturday. Then Sunday. I thought about the time passing, and all her first, and seconds, and thirds ALL the time!

Nothing had ever touched those little hands before! I would begin thinking about how new she was all over again. I was purely and simply awestruck. Have you ever thought about how many things your hands touch in an hour, or a day. Now think about your life so far and how many different things that your hands have touched. It's a lot. So to comprehend just how pure and perfect and new she was was beyond me and it awed me constantly. Not surprisingly, when she was hours old I tried to savor every minute of that newness. I knew it wouldn't last and I didn't want to take a second of it for granted. And I thought about the day that she would turn five. I wondered what she would be like. What would her personality be like? Would she love to dance and sing? What would her favorite color be? Would she be a Tom boy or girly girl? Would she love dresses or hate them? Would she keep her highlighted hair and blue eyes?

Well here we are. My little one is five. I have a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.

Here she is.

More beautiful and wonderful than I could ever have imagined. She is creative and artsy, but doesn't like a mess, especially on her hands.

She is girly right to the core. Dresses must be fancy, "twirly" and worn everyday.

She is kind and caring. She has always shared well and taken care of others.
But she is the boss, and don't you forget it!

I can't believe all the memories that you can make in 5 years. I will never forget raspberry picking with her. 3 years old an already an addiction!

She has always loved the beach. This is her first time at the beach with her feet in the sand.

And her first Pumpkin Festival at the farm.
She's the cutest little pumpkin in the patch!

Ug, that ridiculous Dora hat that started it all! That hat was a gift from her Uncle Matt.
Before that, she didn't know who Dora was.
She quickly learned and fell in love.

And the unforgettable "TRIANGLE"!
Ask me about that sometime.

Five years. I can't believe it. I knew it would go by fast, but that was really fast.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl! The first five have been incredible. We have loved watching you grow and learn. We are excited to continue to experience life with you. And this is our prayer for you: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

*This is a catch-up blog post. Larissa turned 5 in November 2010