I'm Choosing Church Over church Today.

It's 7:30am, Nate has to leave for worship and I'm just getting out of the shower. Landon is just waking up, girls are just finishing their breakfast. Landon needs fed, changed, dressed, fed again, and changed again. The girls are big enough to go to the bathroom on their own and get dressed mostly on their own. They need some help and of course supervision, and as any mom of young ones knows, sometimes it's just easier for mama and much much faster when we can just do it all for them! And then there's me. I need to dress, do something with the mop on my head and try with all my might not to forget to feed myself. Those blood sugar crashes are horrible in the middle of church.

There was a time when I would find this a wee bit overwhelming (when I had two little ones who couldn't do anything for themselves. That was hard). Getting ready for church, by myself, was a struggle for me. Half the time (literally) I'd sigh, suck it up, put on a smile and go to do my Christian volunteer duty at church, all while hating every minute of Sunday mornings alone. Day of rest? Puh, 'rest' my you-know-what.

I've come along way since those days. Mostly because I've been seeking Jesus, not church the institution or the approval of it's leaders. I've also learned how to say 'no' a little better and have healthier boundaries for myself in terms of making time comittments. And if I'm a little late to church, nobody can tell me that I am dishonoring God (yes, I've actually been told that), so I don't allow guilt to control me anymore.

This morning we were all ready and looking forward to connecting with our friends at Church and worshiping our God. But Little Boy was so miserable. He was so tired. He didn't want up, he didn't want down. He didn't want to eat and he sure didn't want to play. Sometimes I make him just come a long and use his easy-going self to our family's advantage. But sometimes it's just not fair to expect him to cater to our routines; sometimes we need to cater to his. So in the midst of debating to go or not to go, I sighed and said to myself, "Today I'm choosing Church over church".

See, with three little ones we just can't always do it all. And often we try, but sometimes the answer just has to be 'no'. Today we have a lunch planned with a couple that we haven't connected with in far too long. We love and respect this older, wiser, Godly family more than words can express. I knew that if I made Landon come to church, lunch would be forfeited. So we're choosing the close fellowship with friends over the corprate worship experience. We're reading bible stories and watching Veggie Tales instead of "Sunday School" story, coloring bible sheets and playing at church. I'm blogging and reading and reflecting, and this is my time with God. (And of course, that's not to say being at church would be wrong. Today is just different).

Some go to church because they feel obligated and guilty if they don't: both motives hold them captive.

Some go to church because they love the feeling they get from making the system "work". That just appeals to the ego and focuses on selfish needs instead of on the ever-present Christ.

Perhaps some have found a Church where community is authentic, worship is genuine, and they are free from the shackles of religion. Awesome!

I'm just seeking God. I thrive on the community of other followers of Christ where I can be exactly who I am. Where I can love and be loved and share my journey and in the journey of others.

"Our life in God, shared together, expresses itself as the Church; It is the overflow of his life in us. You can tinker with church principles forever and still miss out on what it means to live deeply in Father's love and know how to share it with others". -Jake Colesen

(And now let me note that I am posting this without proof-reading it since I gotta go but want to share it!)