If God Is So Great and God Is So Good, Then Why?

It amazes me how many people recite a prayer before a meal. It amazes me even more how much fun it can be: "Thank you Lord, you are the giver. Thank you Lord this ain't liver!" or "Good bread, good meat, Good Lord, let's eat!" I chuckle writing this, though we'd never say it at our house (but might at someone else's just for the reaction).

Most of us, however, have probably said that classic prayer around the dinner table at some point in our lives that goes like this: "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for this food. In Jesus' name, Amen".

Likewise, all of us at some point find ourselves in the midst of trials and suffering. Pain is a fact of life (and like my Pastor said on Sunday, if you haven't encountered much suffering yet - hope you're enjoying the ride so far, because it's coming, I promise!).

And so, have you ever asked the question: "If God is great, and God is good, then why...?" If so, you're not alone. People have been asking this for centuries, including yours truly.

One of the greatest minds ever to have put a pen to paper, in my opinion, is C.S. Lewis. He wrote a book entitled The Problem of Pain. Clive says,

“If God were good, he would wish to make his creatures perfectly happy, and if God were almighty he would be able to do what he wished. But the creatures are not happy. Therefore God lacks either the goodness, or power, or both”.

To answer this, he says, we need to look more closely at erroneous assumptions built into the words “all-powerful” and “good” when ascribed to God. I absolutely agree.

Here's the thing though. When we're hit with the 2x4 of life, we're not really thinking logically. No, we're thinking with our emotions (which sometimes isn't even thinking clearly at all!). Our souls cry out for a reason to make sense of it all. We feel so desperately that if we could just know WHY we have to walk this path of suffering, then we could make some sense of it. We would feel it could somehow be justified. We want to know there is at least a purpose for our tears, no?

So why not have these conversations before the circumstances of life come like a tidal wave and knock the wind out of us. Let's be real with each other, more vulnerable to ask the tough questions. Let's stop walking around refusing to deal with these sorts of questions we all have. That way, when we get the phone call from the Doctor; when we are betrayed by a friend; when we lose a child; when we can't pay the bills and have our home taken away; when the tsunami hits; when we are faced with the suffering that a sinful world promises - we will have some kind of an anchor. Something that we can hold unto, something to sustain us. Some reason to HOPE.

People are hurting (emotionally, financially, relationally, mentally). I'm going to just go through some logical points regarding suffering. In the end, you'll see we're just barely scratching the surface!

There are different categories of suffering:

Some suffering is deserved as a result of poor choices.
Some suffering is mysterious. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or a reason and we just can not make sense of it.
Some suffering is undeserved. Some people are the victims of other people's bad choices. It's not fair and is unjustified.

These warrant a couple of responses to suffering:

Ignore – deny your own suffering, avoid the suffering of others, put a band-aid on it, try to forgive and forget never dealing with it.

Exalt – suffering becomes your identity; an all-consuming victim mentality that can be used to excuse and overlook sin, get to the roots.

Accept - we live in a broken world. Suffering happens.

Hope - that one day there WILL be justification and answers.

The bible is still relevant today. I like this:

"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble." 1 Peter 3:8

When Christians suffer it causes them to focus on what matters most.
Suffering enables Christians to show sympathy and compassion to others.
Suffering makes love among Christians possible.
Suffering cultivates tender hearts.
Suffering cultivates humble minds.

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."
1 Peter 3:9

The natural way to respond to evil is with evil.
The supernatural (gospel) way to respond to evil is with good.
At the heart of the gospel is a man dying to love his enemies.
It takes more courage, strength, and dignity to be like Christ than to instigate further evil.

And also, suffering makes God’s love tangible.

God sees your life, hears your prayer, opposes your enemies, blesses your suffering, and can remove your fear. He left the glory of Heaven to move into our neighborhood (John 1:14).

I want to encourage you if you are a Follower of Christ: suffer in such a way that you learn about Jesus and that other people may learn about Jesus too.
Many Christians are good at winning arguments but could care less about winning people. Build respect and trust with people, and answer their questions with humility and honesty.
People want to see if Christianity works, as demonstrated in relationships and community.
Suffering allows us to be a humble, loving, considerate, respectful, gentle people that embody the gospel.

If you don't consider yourself a Christian or Follower of Christ, I hope you don't just think I'm some bible-thumper. I hope I don't come across that way! I do hope that you can just see this is what makes sense to me. Without hope, without some purpose beyond making money and children (neither of which I can enjoy from the grave) there would be no point to my life. My search for something more than this here and now life has led me to my conclusions.

Let me just say this: I love talking about this stuff, ("really?!" you say!). If you want to have coffee, PLEASE let me know! Let's talk about these realities of life. You want coffee? I'll buy you coffee. You want a venti chai tea latte? I'll give you a venti.

But if you decide not to take me up on the offer, allow me the opportunity to say this.

God is so far beyond us we actually can't even comprehend it. Try it. Try closing your eyes and imagining NOTHING. Can you do it? Try, seriously, to think of NOTHING. Imagine a world of nothing - nope, you're still imagining a world. Ok, take away the world - now imagine nothing. Did you do it? No, because you saw outer space. Try again. How's it going. Does your mind go a little crazy for a moment? That's because YOU CAN'T because there is no such thing and deep inside you your spirit knows it.

But if nothing else, cling to this: there IS hope.


The promise of heaven, at times, is all that's kept me going. It's the only thing that has given me strengths in my darkest moments. Without hope, it's all pointless. I can't live a pointless life, can you?


**Mars Hill Church has a great sermon series called Trial that I really recommend and took some notes on and used in this post.

"It's Plain Not Fair"

She's angry. She's hurt. She feels betrayed somehow. "Why are they leaving?"

Oh baby girl, mommy knows.

The last month and a half has been a little tougher on the more emotional of the household.

It feels like we've lost our best friends. Probably because we sort-of have.

One moved across town, another moved across the freak'n ocean. And next year we'll lose another special family - hopefully they will still be in the province.
Oh, and most recently, to top it off Nana left for Florida last week. (Not for too long though!)

While I am happy for new homes and new adventures, and while we encourage our children to share in the joys of their friends as we do, we can't tell them and won't encourage them to deny what they are feeling.

It's hard. It's hard to not be able to just pick up a phone, or run down the street. It's hard to not see some of the most important people in your life as often as you used to. It's hard adjusting to a new normal. But that's life. Life goes on. Of course life goes on. But while it's going on, there is some adjusting.

Tonight Larissa was feeling angry. She said, "I feel angry that Nana left. Why doesn't she like cold weather? It's plain not fair and I feel angry. Christmas is NOT coming soon." What followed was some emotion that wasn't really just about Nana leaving. The goodbye's are catching up with her. They are starting to really catch up with me too.

I've been realizing how my flesh wants to deal with my hurt. If my flesh had it's way I would totally binge on that Costco-sized bag of Miss Vicky's, buy myself that $40 bra I really want AND the leather couch, drink a little more coffee and another glass of red wine, and a nice cigar. But I'm not all flesh; I am mind and Spirit also.

Common sense knows better. Spirit really knows better.
I don't need debt, a hangover or 10 extra pounds. And wisdom tells me that I would still feel the same if I indulged myself. The Spirit inside me knows that life is full of changes and that while life has a bit of a different flavor recently, it's ok.

It's ok because change can be a good thing. We trust that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him - and we definitely do. He cares about the hurts we feel, the loneliness in our hearts, the questions we have - and it's good and right to work through all those things. We can experience sadness while still having joy in our hearts. It doesn't make sense, so we often walk either in habitual sadness or denial of it in pursuit of joy. I have both - life is both wonderfully good and yet I taste the melancholy. So we're going with it. And walking with our babies as they learn that life isn't all play and princesses, but that they can trust their constant, reliable, dependable Heavenly Father. He promises to never leave us or forsake us! What a promise!

And here comes that joy....

"It's Plain Not Fair"

She's angry. She's hurt. She feels betrayed somehow. "Why are they leaving?"

Oh baby girl, mommy knows.

The last month and a half has been a little tougher on the more emotional of the household.

It feels like we've lost our best friends. Probably because we sort-of have.

One moved across town, another moved across the freak'n ocean. And next year we'll lose another special family - hopefully they will still be in the province.
Oh, and most recently, to top it off Nana left for Florida last week. (Not for too long though!)

While I am happy for new homes and new adventures, and while we encourage our children to share in the joys of their friends as we do, we can't tell them and won't encourage them to deny what they are feeling.

It's hard. It's hard to not be able to just pick up a phone, or run down the street. It's hard to not see some of the most important people in your life as often as you used to. It's hard adjusting to a new normal. But that's life. Life goes on. Of course life goes on. But while it's going on, there is some adjusting.

Tonight Larissa was feeling angry. She said, "I feel angry that Nana left. Why doesn't she like cold weather? It's plain not fair and I feel angry. Christmas is NOT coming soon." What followed was some emotion that wasn't really just about Nana leaving. The goodbye's are catching up with her. They are starting to really catch up with me too.

I've been realizing how my flesh wants to deal with my hurt. If my flesh had it's way I would totally binge on that Costco-sized bag of Miss Vicky's, buy myself that $40 bra I really want AND the leather couch, drink a little more coffee and another glass of red wine, and a nice cigar. But I'm not all flesh; I am mind and Spirit also.

Common sense knows better. Spirit really knows better.
I don't need debt, a hangover or 10 extra pounds. And wisdom tells me that I would still feel the same if I indulged myself. The Spirit inside me knows that life is full of changes and that while life has a bit of a different flavor recently, it's ok.

It's ok because change can be a good thing. We trust that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him - and we definitely do. He cares about the hurts we feel, the loneliness in our hearts, the questions we have - and it's good and right to work through all those things. We can experience sadness while still having joy in our hearts. It doesn't make sense, so we often walk either in habitual sadness or denial of it in pursuit of joy. I have both - life is both wonderfully good and yet I taste the melancholy. So we're going with it. And walking with our babies as they learn that life isn't all play and princesses, but that they can trust their constant, reliable, dependable Heavenly Father. He promises to never leave us or forsake us! What a promise!

And here comes that joy....

Time Out!

We've often said that parenting toddler/pre-school behavior is like training dogs: reward the good and use cause and effect.

We still feel secure in that belief, especially when we see little Johnny take another kid's toy and Mommy says, "No no Johnny, you shouldn't take". Then when the poor kid who had their toy swiped reaches to take back what was rightfully in his possesion, sweet little Johnny pushes him - and Mommy says, "No no Johnny, we don't push".

Well mommy, you might not, but your sweet little Johnny does. And until you teach him that pushing=consequence (you'd be amazed at how fast a tiny humn learns such a big word!), he's going to keep on taking and pushing. (And you'll get less and less invites to playdate).

So, what's the 'consequence'? I have a lot of thoughts on that whole thing (and usually we can say a lot with our tones and never have to raise our voice even) But, let me ask you: have you ever used a time-out? We have. But saying you use 'time-out' is like saying you use sweetner: honey, stevia, molasses, agave, or ....sugar...sweet'n low.....aspartame.... (dun dun dun)

Some are better than others. Some are healthy; some are destructive.

Today I had a real ah-ha moment at a parenting small group. It was being said that when we use time-outs in a way that isolates the child (ie: "Go to your room", "sit in this corner in the other room" etc) we are actually saying to our precious children, "If you want to be near me, if you want to be accepted with us, then you need to behave. When you misbehave we will isolate you". We are associating our acceptence and nearness to them with behavior.

Are you as stunned as I am?

Of course we use time-outs. Sometimes it is in a way that is isolating. Sometimes it is not. I do try to keep the child in the room, or say "I guess you better come in here with me since you are not behaving in there". But just yesterday we were out for lunch and one of my little ones was just having a really hard time keeping hands to herself, sitting up, being far too loud... so I took her out to the van.

The day before that another sweet angel of mine had been interrupting what seemed like ALL day, with everyone I talked to. (I'm sure it wasn't, but I certainly felt that way!) Repeatedly saying she was thirsty while someone else was talking at dinner was the last straw. So for a few minutes she was sent to her room.
Did it work? Well, yes - it 'worked' on their behaviors.
But what did we teach them?

We taught them that when they misbehave they aren't welcome in our presence.

I am choked up thinking about it.

I was telling all of this to Nate tonight, and said, "Wow. Just like when we mess up we feel we are isolated from God and can't be in His presence. I wonder where that comes from!"

Such truth. When we mess up in our own lives, instead of feeling that we can turn to God as a loving Father whose arms are open wide to welcome us home and graciously help us with our struggles and carry our burdens, we feel isolated from Him and as though we can NOT turn to Him.

Where does that come from? Certainly not from the Bible I read. Certainly not from the Truth I know of God, but simply (or not so simply) from my own emotions, guilt, head-talk. Maybe from my own experiences with authority?

So which do we want to portray to our children? Which do we hope our God to be?
A God who isolates or a Father who in His presence rebukes us in love, offers correction and discipline, all while loving us and holding us close to him in gracious loving arms.
I'm pretty sure you would choose the same as me.

Evidence

Today I have evidence that reading someone else's blog can be totally inspirational! (I have one friend in particular who refuses to read any blogs at all-There's really no good reason for it either). Maybe if she did she would have a dinner like this!

So I had already pulled out the chicken: I had a hanker'n for Chicken Pot Pie.

I had a bit of down time today, so I was reading my friend's blog. She changed it a while back and I hadn't had a chance to look at it yet, so I was catching up a little. Well low and behold, what should I stumble across but Chicken Pot Pie - in homemade bread bowls no less! DELICIOUS! I was inspired - and here's the result:


Here are the links if you want to try it!

Bread Bowls
Chicken Pot Pie

Thanks Robin for a deliciously warm and comforting meal!

Something's Cooking

Today's Monday, and I'm exhausted.

I know, right? We just had the weekend and so I should be well-rested and ready to take on the week. Well, I'm not. Or I wasn't anyways. And then for some reason I just got motivated. Here's what happened:

Butter Tarts - there's no escaping the brown sugar. However, once in a while I indulge.

Beer Bread - I use spelt flour and honey

And of course some home-made Birtch Farm's apple pie. Larissa decided on a star for Landon and to remind us that there is a special surprise in the middle of the apple, also reminding us that Christmas is coming! (Yes, I said it: Christmas. Christmas. Christmas. Christmas.)

So what really happened? I'll be honest - it's that sweet little reminder named Josie Stahle. I'm still in awe of God's grace and goodness in giving her life and blessing us all with it. Now I know that I will never forget the words from her wise Daddy just days after her birth: "We've sure learned to take things moment-to-moment and appreciate every one. You know it makes you stop and think about all the stupid things we say, like: 'I just want this day to be over';'this day was so long, thank God it's over';'I hate Mondays'. You know, whatever it is we say, we really take life for granted".

Wow huh? I can't tell you how often I hear those words now as I catch myself not living in and appreciating the moments. How precious and fleeting our time here really is.

We all know we're mortals; we just like to pretend we're not. But let's stop pretending. Let's live out today, enjoying it, making the most of it; whatever that means to you.

"Good Boy/Bad Boy"

Being 'good'.

It's been on my mind a lot lately.

All too often I am hearing a child being told they are a "good boy" or a "bad boy" and something in me cringes.

I know that most of us say things without realizing what it is we're actually saying, believe me, I know I do it all the time! And it's an area I'm working on. Mommies and Daddies: please take my encouragements and hear my love for you and your child!

I know it's not intentional that a lot us parents qualify our child's identity with their behavior, and the truth is that not everyone has an ECE worker for a mother (like yours truly). I credit this sensitivity to her! So in case no one else will ever tell you, please let me!

When your 2 year old isn't listening to you and runs in the opposite direction he is NOT a "bad boy". Yes, his behavior is disobedient and you need to correct him but that's our job as parents, to teach that character of obedience.

When your 3 year old hits another child for not giving them the toy or cookie they want, she is not a "bad girl". Her behavior is certainly bad, but your child is not.

When we call a child bad we are telling them something about who they are as a person. They aren't bad, they are kids and they need to learn and it is our responsibility and privilege to teach them. So teach them well parents. Teach them that they are loved and adored. Teach them that you love them always and that they can be secure in your love. When they behave badly, tell them they are behaving badly but please, please don't tell them that they are bad. Reward good behavior and teach them that bad choices and bad behavior has consequences.

A Pastor that we respect says, "Choose to sin; choose to suffer". Wise.

We tell our kids, "Choose to obey or choose a consequence". They choice is theirs. That empowers them and tells them "Son, I know you're smart." Nagging and threatening our kids tells them we think they're stupid because we have to keep telling them over and over again to do something, or not to do something - and it just frustrates us and them! (Thank you Dr. Kevin Leman for that one)

Let me put it this way: If you didn't meet expectations at your workplace, and your boss came to you and said, "John, you've made some bad business choices. You're workplace is a mess. John, you are a bad person". .... that just doesn't even make sense, does it? Everything in you would probably cry out 'injustice! I am still a good person!'. Your little Johnny, and mine. might feel the same way only they don't have the years or the wisdom to know that, and so they WILL believe they are bad - especially if their Mommy and Daddy are telling them that they are.

Anyways, I'm always learning so much and realizing so many areas where I fall short. I hope I never sound like I think I know it all, because I sure don't. I really want correction in my life, and I really will take all the advice I can get to be the best Mommy I can be! My heart is only to share with you the wisdom I've received and pray that your parenting experience will be a joyful one!