Purposeful, Joyful Pain

I knew this would happen; that I'd be here, on this day thinking about how fast it happened. A year ago today I was in labor. It started early, really early. Like 4am early! The cramping was pretty regular, but it wasn't really getting stronger. So it was a dull, constant contraction (every 30 minutes or so) from 4am until about 8pm when we were on our way home from our small group barbecue. That's when they started to be about every 10 minutes. So we put the girls to bed and prepared ourselves for a long night. By 10pm I was feeling it. By 11:30pm I had called my midwives, my mom and my best friends to come and pray me through it.

A year ago, right now, I was fighting through every painful contraction. I was determined to let my baby come into this world with no interference (with the exception of a serious medical emergency). And so I labored with my incredible husband. He breathed through every contraction with me, loud and strong. All that I had to do was close my eyes and follow his example. I hung my arms around his neck while he braced himself against the wall and gently encouraged me to relax so that I just let myself completely melt to open my hips and just let my body do what it was created to do. As I sit here and remember the incredible experience of childbirth, I have to acknowledge him in all of it. He reassured me, he encouraged me, he was so strong for me. I depended on him like never before. That was one of the most incredible bonding experiences we've ever had and I will always be grateful to God for it.


It was my Everest. It was hard. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it was a wonderful, incredible kind of hard. I believed that if I listened to my body, and allowed it to do what it needed to do to expel the life it had co-created with Almighty God that it wouldn't last forever and that it would be worth it. It was amazing. I want to share every detail, but I know some of you can't handle it, so I won't (you're welcome; and sorry for the earlier stuff!).

It got worse before it got better, that's for sure. My contractions actually quit, I did have to go into the hospital (not the plan I had in my idealist mind of mine), and when his heart rate dropped I had a peace, and a vision of soaring on wings of eagles (the verse my friends were praying for me!), and by the grace of God just beared down and somehow, miraculously pushed him out. (He had been posterior, which means NOT facing down and he was "stuck"). And when a baby is born, the pain leaves and you're on a high like never before. It is PURE JOY!

I don't know what your Everest is; maybe you haven't met yours yet. But be assured, we all have Everests in our lives. I want to encourage you to press on, to keep going, don't give up. Maybe you have wonderful people in your life that are an example to you that you can draw strength from. I pray that you have friends to lift you up in prayer like I had. But more than anything, I hope that you have faith in the process of refinement that you're going through. I pray that you will have hope for your future, knowing that you were made for an eternal purpose, and that you have a Heavenly Father that is there for you, to meet with you, to talk with you, and to give you a hope and a future. Joy comes in the morning, I promise.

"weeping may remain for a night,
but rejoicing and joy comes in the morning.
Pslam 30:5