A Long Time Ago In A Galxy Far Far Away.....

Our introductory unity study of: Astronomy!

I love being able to do fun things like this: Starfruit and 

"moon cheese" (as Landon calls it), a.k.a Baby Belles

A space sensory bin for Landon with "moon dust",

which turned into a favorite for everyone!

            

Meteorites! (Tin foil and streamers) 

 

And of course, a couple of labooks. Because what's a fun unit study with a lapbook?  We're totally hooked on these. Here are some photos to see a bit of what they included in theirs.

 

 

Lining up the planets and reading all about them 

(because sometimes that is just more fun than listening to Mommy read).

  

This next one was great for Landon to match pictures and words to the mats that I made.  

Of course, his sisters wanted in on it, so they matched pictures and words with NO sheets.  

(I'm learning to improvise quick. Well, actually, it's more like my improvisational skills are working for me here)

 And who doesn't love making a rocket ship?

This turned into space monkeys, which turned into a space giraffe, cat, and dog.

 My littlest astronaut.

I have LOVED not only teaching this unit to the kids, but learning about it myself.  

The Universe is an incredible place.  What we don't know, about what we don't know could fill the sky! 

To understand our world in it's context, we found this video and the kids LOVE it. The girls said that they "had goosebumps" and that "it made me feel itchy because it's so amazing!"  

See it here 

And while I was wrapping it up this week, they told me that they refused to stop learning about space! 

Ok.

Let's go with that. 

Because we can. 

 

Freedom To Disagree

I'm the kind of girl who wears her heart on her sleeve. Take me or leave me, it's the way that I am.

As I grow and hopefully mature, I have learned (or am learning) not to bleed all over people. Nobody can be around a negative, winy, complaining person for very long, nor do I want to be that.

But I am hurt and angry and wrestling through it.

Someone who has called themselves a close friend to me, "precious and dear to her", has written me not just out of her life, but off of her Facebook. If you want to know where you stand in your relationship with someone, what says it more clearly than being defriended?

This has made me revisit what has caused "division".

At the end of the day, what it all boils down to is that even though she has never had a conversation with me about it, she thinks she knows what I believe about a religious topic and disagrees. We have never discussed it and her assumptions may in fact, be all wrong. Sad point #1.

However it is, I keep thinking about this simple question: Why should our differences poison the water?

It comes down to this: what do we do about our differences? As Christians, as people.

If we have to think alike, talk alike, act alike.... Well, have fun with yourself.

For the Christian who claims to follow the Resurrected Christ, is being a Body 1) tasking together or 2) doing life together?

Most of our relationships in the church have become task-based, not family-oriented.

The dynamics of relationship and freedom and safety and openness and honesty- if those are things that are really critical to the community, then it can't be first about a task and then hope relationships happen.

But if the relationship and caring about each other is first, even where we disagree, then we have a chance at being a family.

To be authentically myself. Wow. Imagine the freedom to live where you are in your journey, and allow others to live where they are in theirs... Weaknesses and all.... then we have a shot at some kind of relationship that is going to make a difference.

But if you are in friendship, a relationship or part of an institution where you can't have any kind of disagreement or different thought then, well, maybe that's why the avg. church in America splits every 6.9 years.
Maybe that's why the reality of the friendship can hurt so bad. One that you trust and feel safe in suddenly turns into friend who has publicly DEfriended you.

To those that believe you have "the Truth" on all things spiritual: Do you ever disagree with God?
(you can pause here or come back to it)

(your answer, you will find, is probably yes. You do, in fact, and realize that you don't have him all figured out.).
So now I will ask: Can you still walk in relationship with him?

Truthfully, I don't know how many people that I am in relationship with are safe people that I can be truly myself with. Relationships that I can live freely and authentically myself - weaknesses and all.

When did agreement become a necessary ingredient for relationship?

If its about people feeling safe and feeling loved, then what else is there?

From now on, I aim to do my part in living more freely and truly as I am, where I am at. When I can't be honest inside certain relationships, I need to look for the log in my own eye. What role am I playing? What about me isn't free enough to express what I need to express?

Instead of being so worried about being processed by others, I will remember how loved I am by God.
In that, and only in that I will find my security.
I don't need to pick fights. I don't need to engage in a sword fight.

And lastly, how can I create an environment for others to feel safe and free in?

I am so hungry for friendships and environments to question what I need to question, doubt what I need to doubt, disagree with what I need to disagree with and then demonstrate the same safety I seek.

And no, that doesn't make me a heretic, or someone who "is being tossed in the wind" (because I am sure someone holy will want to quote me Ephesians 4:14).

I know a lot of Christians who believe that the enemy's tactics are to divide and conquer. I couldn't agree more.
And then they preach doctrinal unity.

However, the craftiness of satan is that so many believers then believe that we all have to agree. That there is one Truth, and they know it.

Agree with them or be ex-communicated.

Imagine what it would be like to put theological differences aside and follow Gods leading in our own lives?

Many of us could use a little "Pharisectomy" me thinks.

Mountains and Molehills

This is my boy with his new pride and joy: a Pirate Nutcracker. I can't even tell you how much he loves this silly little thing that I found for $3.99 at Michaels. Landon loves anything with a sword, but in our house this year, nutcrackers are all the rage. So imagine my thrill to find a cheap nutcracker with a sword!?

So anyways, of course he wanted to play with it. I of course, explained that it wasn't a toy and more of a decoration. If he wanted to play with it he would have to be very careful.

Right. It lasted all of 5 minutes before he tripped with it and broke the sword right off.

We glued it and told him he couldn't play with it anymore and that it was just a decoration.
He cried.
We tried to explain it again.
He cried.
*sigh
"Ok Landon. You can play with it gently."
"Ok Mama. I will be g e n t l e.
*looking very serious with the slow head nod for the word "gentle".

This time it lasted about 10 minutes before the sword broke off again.
And now it's bedtime. And guess who wants to sleep with the silly thing. We have tears and all kinds of discussions about sleeping with wooden objects with sharp corners and wet wood glue. We finally just gave him a choice: it went downstairs or on his side table.
*side note to parents: choices are you and your child's BEST FRIENDS.

Next day: We make it half way through the morning when he remembers about it. Almost immediately the sword comes off. I got away with letting it "dry" all day. And by the evening when he began asking for it again and I was trying to talk him out of it, I realized just how silly we were being about it.

"Landon, whose nutcracker is it?" I asked him.
"Mine", he said.
"Right. So you know what - you should be able to enjoy it. I want you to LOVE it and play with it and use it."
Big smile spreads across his face, his eyes light up. That makes me smile (isn't that the point of me buying it in the first place??)
"I'm sorry buddy for not letting you have your own toy. Do you forgive me?"

I clarified with him that he didn't care that the sword was broken. Surprisingly, he didn't. He just wanted his very own "doll" to play and pretend with.

He's still not allowed to sleep with it, but he's definately allowed - encouraged even - to play with it and enjoy it. And if it ends up with 1 arm, a cracked skull and a broken nose, well he will either love it to literal bits and have enjoyed every second of it's little nutty life, or have learned a valuable lesson about breakable objects and that decorations don't make great toys.

Or do they?

Mountains or Molehills.
That's our choice as parents.
That's often our choice as humans in life and relationships for that matter.

Some things are mountains.
Some things feel like mountains.
Some things, if we can gain a little perspective are really just molehills.

If you've had any mountain vs molehill experiences, I'd love to hear about them!
:)

Going Into The Pit

Before all of this happened last week, I had already been really pondering a lot about this illusion of control that we have.

While we sure do have what feels like a lot of it- the things which we can't control are just so enormous it begins to feel like we have none.

I know that this isn't like we have a child with cancer or something. But thinking that something is causing this in her - and what that could be - well, that's just the thing, you know? The fear of the unknown is oh so paralyzing.

When I first found out on Thursday, I had to be somewhere after the appointment. I parked at my friend, Nicole's. When I went to pick the car up she lovingly invited me in and we cried together, prayed together, and shared some of the realities of our hearts.

I confessed that I just couldn't keep myself from visiting the worst of the worst places in my mind. Rather than tell me to 'stay positive' or tell me that 'the power of life and death is in the tongue' she encouraged me to "go to The Pit".

When her son, Andrew was born with no blood and things weren't hopeful (medically speaking), it was The Pit where she faced her worst fears. It's also when she felt she had been able to be real with her emotions and then find space to say, "God, I trust you."

That night, as I laid beside and talked with my best friend, through sobs I explained how going there - to the worst of the worst - was showing me how little I really trust God with our children. It's easy to say, "God, our kids are yours and we trust you with them", and "God, do what you want with our family". But did I mean it?

Going through this was allowing me to search every corner of my soul to find faith. Do I really believe that God is good? Is God love?
And what if...
what if....
what if.

The Pit, for me, became a place where I was finding true relationship with my Creator. There I am completely naked and transparent. It's there that I visit my darkest place and make the choice to throw my hands up in surrender - to trust, to hope.

If I needed a test to see where I was on the faith scale, this was sure it.

I am already grateful for it. I obviously hope my 'pit days' will be fewer and further between, but I am thankful for this experience. The hard times are what make or break us. The hard times require me to realize how very little control I have and to live in the moments - a step at a time.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps
Proverbs 16:9

We Walk By Faith, Not By Sight (pun intended)

Here is one thing I know now to be true: It's a good idea to figure out some things you believe about the 'ways of God' BEFORE you face a trial!

When you're in it is no time to be wrestling through who you believe God to be.

I realize that often in hard times people actually turn to God. I also know that sometimes people turn away from God.

A few weeks ago I began writing about "Good God" - it was a blog half-written on the iPad based on a recent conversation with my Hubby and a good friend.

Maybe I will dig it up and post it, but I clearly remember saying that if we can actually, truly believe that God is good, and that God is love, then whatever comes our way in life - if we can anchor to that, even if the storm is raging and boat is rocking - we can trust Him to care for us. That means, even if things aren't playing out the way that we think a loving God who has our best interest in mind would have them go, that if we have resolved Him to be trustworthy then that will keep us together at the seams.

So the prayer of faith is not, "God heal this illness" or "God I believe you can and will solve this problem". No, I am finding that the true prayer of faith maybe goes something like this:

"Father, I don't know what the heck you're doing or allowing. But I KNOW that you are good. I KNOW that you are love. And I KNOW that you care about this. And I choose to trust you. Help me with my unbelief. Help me when I don't trust you. Carry me when I can't walk. Help me breath when I forget to. Do your thing. Whatever happens, you are with me and this isn't the end."

And then you step.

One foot.

Then the next.

And if we forget how to walk



Slip your hand into his. He'll not just lead you, He will care for you.

Un-NERVing...

Instead of writing everyone individually, I thought I would just write an update here about our new journey with Larissa.

Nathan and I took our sweetie back to Dr. Coates today who wanted to do some further testing and have a colleague check her over as well.

She was, of course, amazingly co-operative and did a great job.

After all the testing and attempts to take a clear picture of her eye, the Doctor's words: "We're basically stumped on this one."

Dr. Coates said he's had several colleagues look at her scans and photographs and no one quite knows what is going on.

Typically, when it's a situation of a 'lazy eye' that isn't helped, the brain shuts down the eye that isn't working well and utilizes the good eye. It's pretty "smart thinking" on behalf of the brain! Lol

So, at first it looked like this was a possibility for Larissa. But it's really not the case. A LONG story really short is that the retina doesn't look good, she has some peripheral vision for light but zero central vision, and her optic nerve is small. This last observation seems to be the new focus.

It's difficult to get a scan or picture of her eye where they need it to be - but the best observation we can get looks like her right eye's optic nerve is a lot smaller - about half the width of the left's. That's a significant difference. These Optometrists say that because of this, the function of her eye is compromised (makes sense).

We have also discovered that though she functions at an extremely high level, she does have a prescription in her "good eye" (the left one). So she'll get some glasses soon I think. (I love kids in glasses!) This is really no shocker, as almost all of Nate's family wears glasses.

So now, off we go to the Specialist at Ivy. He thinks he can get us in there pretty quickly, and we are still hoping this is congenital, and not symptomatic.

How grateful we are to live in a country with such capable doctors, incredible technology, and the resources from the government to afford all this. Thanks for paying your taxes :)

We continue to have hope and take every day a step at a time.

Thanks for your prayers and support! It means the world to us.

The Scariest Day Of My Life

Yesterday: a pivotal point in my life. When my worst fears were realized and I saw my litmus test to the faith I attest to.

It was supposed to be a routine check-up at the optometrist. I was even on time! We were the first appointment, arriving at 8:30am.

Up hopped Olivia, first to go bravely into the big black chair. Proudly, she followed all of the Doctor's instructions and showed him how she knew her letters. Down she came, and up hopped Larissa.

"Take this and cover your eye here and read to me the letters you see in the mirror", he said. Searching for anything, she was unsuccessful to find something to focus on.

"Larissa hunny, up here", I snapped and waved in front of the mirror.

And forever engraved in my memory she said, "Mommy, you know that I can't see out of this eye. I've told you."

Stunned. Shocked. Nauseous. Terrified. Breathless. Dizzy.

My baby can't see, at all, out of her right eye. And I didn't even know it.

I sat there doing my best to stay calm and present cool with one babe-in-arms and two others watching me from their chairs for a reaction.

Like THAT every moment and memory was more precious and valuable.
Like THAT the reality that I live with an illusion of control hit me.
Like THAT I questioned God's love and goodness. Everything I have felt Him teaching me all year flashed before my eyes. I could make myself say it, but I wasn't sure I could truly believe it. What is faith? And do I have any?

Our Optometrist, Dr. Coates, was incredible. He made her his priority and pulled in another Doctor for a second opinion and ran all the tests that hew was able. She is being referred to a specialist and we saw our family doctor today.

For now, we can rule nothing out. But from what they can see, both doctors say that their best guess is that this is something she was born with.

Dr. Coates called me at home today to let me know that he was unable to get through to the specialist today but will try again Monday morning and that Larissa remains his top priority. He said there is definately retinal disruption, but it doesn't appear to be detached, which may give her a slight bit of hope at some level of recovery of sight in her eye. I made it clear that my BEST case scenario is that she never sees anything out of that eye. We only care that nothing else is causing this.

I could already write ten blogs about what I have learned in 30 hours. Finding alone time on my computer makes it difficult to do so, but I'm hoping to share it.

I have a lot more peace today. I'm going with that!