I hope you got something out of my last post. It was part of a powerful, liberating read for me. I'm still reading the book I took that out of, actually, that is just in the beginning. So I will be sure to write more as I reflect. I won't continue copying the whole book, because, well, that would be illegal I think!
I am on this journey and feel so close to finally "getting it" about God's love. Things I've always known in my heart and spirit but just wasn't able to express or put into words. Probably because it's just something you(I) need to experience not just know, or believe, or be taught. As Christians I feel we're often handed this recipe card, so-to-speak, on knowing God, hearing from Him and being loved by Him. And therein lies the crux of the problem: I'm taught and believe that those things are things to be found, acquired, learned. When in fact they are just there already, not to be attained or achieved. See, it's hard to put into words, let's just say I'm finally learning how to live loved.
But here are some thoughts and notes on the follow-up to my previous post. If you haven't read it, maybe you should.
DO I HAVE TO?
In my observation, those who seek to follow God only because they don't want to go to hell never discover how incredible a Father he really is. They see Christianity as an onerous burden and don't want to do one bit more than they absolutely must.
When someone is struggling with desiring something that Scripture marks out of bounds for the believer, we ask what we should do. If we/they are told what the Bible seems to say, do we ever feel somewhat disappointed, as if to look for some sort of loophole? I mean, so many people who have been raised with religion want to find a way to have what they want and not end up in hell.
"Do I have to stay in this marriage if I don't want to go to hell?"
"Do I have to forgive the person who hurt me, to be saved?"
"Do I have to give up this habit, to be saved?"
*How do you answer those kind of questions? They are totally unfair. If you say yes, you can do what you want then you empty the cross of it's power by substituting human effort. If you say no, people will use it as an excuse to indulge in a false notion of what it means to live in God.
These kinds of questions actually reveal how far removed Christianity has become from its central purpose. Instead of desiring to walk in friendship with him, we are only preoccupied with securing his goodies.
It's his blessing we want, not him!!! How painful that must be for him.
It would be like inviting your adult child over for dinner. He hesitates a moment. It's obvious he'd rather not come, but before he answers he wants to know something, "Mom, I guess I could come but I've got other things I'd like to do. Will you write me out of your will if I don't come?"
What answer can a mother/father give to that question? None would suffice since the question misses the whole point of relationship. True, God has the best goodies in the universe, but the person who seeks those without desiring to know him misses out on the real life of the kingdom.
That is exactly what those of us who wonder if we must do something or risk our salvation. They don't want one drop more of God's life than the minimum required to escape hell. How tragic! No wonder they missed the best gift God could give them. Jesus wanted so desperately to free them from the tyranny of trying to earn eternal life by their own religious efforts.
All this is not to say that hell does not exist, nor that dire consequences await those who refuse God's freedom. What I (Wayne) am saying is that when we use the threat of hell to motiviate people to come to God, we're using it in a way Jesus never did and in a way he never intended. In doing so, we push people further away from God's greatest desire, rather than inviting them closer to it.
The message of Christ was not to come to God or you'll burn in hell. His message was the God's kingdom has come near you and you can become a participant in it. You have a Father who loves you more than any other person ever has or ever will, and you can now discover what it means to have a daily relationship with him. If not, then your own sin will destroy you utterly and completely
There is no one that God does not love with all that he is. His love reaches beyond every sin and failure, hoping that at some moment they will come to know just how loved they are.
There is nothing more important for you to know.
*(Much of this taken from Wayne Jacobsen)
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Nobody Likes to be Threatened
We just got home from a week of tent camping and it was amazing. For anyone who likes to keep up with us via this blog, there will be more to come on that later. For now, I'm getting some time alone and am reading an incredible book that is just too good to not share. I'm compelled to offer some nuggets to you in hopes that you will be nourished and blessed as much as I have just been.
Well, that's all the time I have for now, but will continue with this later.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!
"The question is compelling. "Do you know where you would end up if you died in a car accident tonight?"
The evangelist has already painted the pictures. You could find yourself in an eternal garden of exquisite beauty laced together with winding paths of gold; or writhing in agony amidst the leaping sulfuric flames of hell.
If there was ever a choice that defined "no-brainier," this is it. Once you convince someone that hell and heaven exist, winning a convert is easy. After all, praying for forgiveness and "accepting Jesus" seem like a small price to pay for a Get-Out-of-Hell-Free-Card!
So effective is this appeal to people's worst fears and insecurities that hell has become the most popular invitation into God's kingdom. What we have not so critically examined is whether or not threatening people with hell engages them in the relationship God has always wanted with them.
For we live in a day when millions of people have made a commitment to Christ and yet so few lives are really transformed by his power. It has been said of this generation that our Christianity is a mile wide but only an inch deep. We see effects of it everywhere. People claim to know God, but show no evidence of transformation in their daily lives. We challenge them as hypocrites and attempt to badger them into more righteous lifestyles, but in the end most believers end up as much a part of the world's ways as their non believing neighbors.
While the threat of hell can stir instant commitments, it does not breed long-term disciples. If you are only in this kingdom because you fear the aternative, you missed the greatest part of what it means to know God.
WHY THE THREAT?
No one ever threatened me to do something that was wonderful. My parents didn't threaten me with punishment to get me to go to Disneyland.
So if I am told that I must love God or he will throw me into hell, I might well consider loving him- or at least pretend I do. But if the only reason I'm even responding to him is to serve my own self-interest and escape a fiery eternity in hell, am I really loving him or myself?
Can a true friendship blossom under so grace a threat? Let's say I approach a recent acquaintance of mine, hoping to deepen our friendship. I say to him, "I have really appreciated the time we've been able to spend together and inf act, I'd like to see our realationship deepen and maybe become best friends. Would you like to spend some more time together over the next few months and see if that kind of friendship develops?"
So far, so good! But what if I added one more thing:"I hope you do because if you don't, I'm going to hunt you down and torture you for the rest of your life." Hasn't the invitation just taken an ominous turn? Even if he wanted to explore the potential of a friendship with me, it has now been twisted by my threat. What does it say about me? How will he ever feel safe in a friendship cultivated on fear?
Whether you are conscious of it or not, the threat of hell can create an inner dissonance in our perception of the God who seeks our love.
How can we feel safe with a God who is seemingly anxious to dangle us over the flames of hell? If he can find nothing else to call us to him, then what kind of God must he be? And if we find no better reason to love him, how shallow must our faith be?
CONTRADICTORY PORTRAITS
Here is the problem, isn't it? Scripture seems to pain two contradictory portraits of the Living God - a terrible judge and a loving father. Which is it? Can he be both?
We read no only that God has prepared hell for the unbelieving, but also that he commanded Joshua to practice ethnic cleansing in Canaan, poured out fire from heaven to consume Sodom and Gomorah, and opened the earth to swallow those who opposed Moses. Unapproachable in his purity, even the most most righteous fell on their faces near his presence, paralyzed by their unworthiness. He demanded unquestioning obedience and punished those who did not comply with unspeakable anguish.
No wonder we're at least a little confused when he appears in the New Testament and tells us how much he loves us and invites us to be his children. We saw Jesus healing the sick, forgiving prostitutes and murderers, going into the houses of sinners. He invited children into his lap and portrayed his Father as so tender that the most wayward sinner could run to his side in absolute safety.
So what happened to God? Did he get saved somewhere between Malachi and Matthew? Had he reinvented himself into a nicer, gentler God? Of course not! He is unchanging, the same throughout all eternity.
So then is he both? Is he kind and gentle to those who please him and vengeful toward the wicked? That's what many of us have been taught to believe, which is why we end up playing he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not games. We sift through every event to try and figure out if we are in his favor or out of it. If we think we are in, we can relax and coast through life. If, however, we think our difficulties probe we are out of favor, we have to try harder to please him; a course of action Paul warns us against. True righteousness cannot come from human effort.
There's the problem. I can't please him until I'm certain of his love for me, but he will not love me if I cannot please him. This is an endless loop that offers no resolution. How can he be a mean and vengeful God one moment and a kind and tender one the next? Those portraits don't depict the same God in different circumstances, but rather contradictory portraits that leave us confused and uncertain of God's true nature.
Unless we can glean from Scripture a cohesive view of God's nature we'll never know who he really is or have the confidence to embrace the relationship he desires with us. God did not change between Malachi and Matthew. Our perception of him, however, changed drastically.
Before Jesus came we could only see God's actions and assume he was moved by motivations similar to our own. His actions against sin made him appear as if he didn't care for people. His attempts to teach his people to trust him were misunderstood as vengeful punishment.
Jesus changed all of that. By listening to hi words and watching how he lived we suddenly see God's motivations. He fully reflected the Father's glory so we might know him as he really is and no longer be victims of our own misinterpretations. Love dwells at the core of God's being and the Old Testament contains hundreds of pictures of a God who is rich in mercy, willing to forgive, and passionate about setting us free from the sin that diminishes and devours the life he wants us to experience in him.
He allows us the consequences of sin, not because he delights in our anguish, but so that we can see its devastating effects and run to the only one in the universe who can set us free from them. His wrath against sin was not his rejection of us in anger, but only a reflection of the depth of his love that cannot look away unconcerned as sin destroys us.
These are not mere philosophical issues. If we aren't certain of God's motives toward us, we will never have confidence to engage his presence in the reality of our lives. We'll keep him at a safe distance and miss what he desires most for us - a friendship with him more real and more powerful than any we've known before."
The evangelist has already painted the pictures. You could find yourself in an eternal garden of exquisite beauty laced together with winding paths of gold; or writhing in agony amidst the leaping sulfuric flames of hell.
If there was ever a choice that defined "no-brainier," this is it. Once you convince someone that hell and heaven exist, winning a convert is easy. After all, praying for forgiveness and "accepting Jesus" seem like a small price to pay for a Get-Out-of-Hell-Free-Card!
So effective is this appeal to people's worst fears and insecurities that hell has become the most popular invitation into God's kingdom. What we have not so critically examined is whether or not threatening people with hell engages them in the relationship God has always wanted with them.
For we live in a day when millions of people have made a commitment to Christ and yet so few lives are really transformed by his power. It has been said of this generation that our Christianity is a mile wide but only an inch deep. We see effects of it everywhere. People claim to know God, but show no evidence of transformation in their daily lives. We challenge them as hypocrites and attempt to badger them into more righteous lifestyles, but in the end most believers end up as much a part of the world's ways as their non believing neighbors.
While the threat of hell can stir instant commitments, it does not breed long-term disciples. If you are only in this kingdom because you fear the aternative, you missed the greatest part of what it means to know God.
WHY THE THREAT?
No one ever threatened me to do something that was wonderful. My parents didn't threaten me with punishment to get me to go to Disneyland.
So if I am told that I must love God or he will throw me into hell, I might well consider loving him- or at least pretend I do. But if the only reason I'm even responding to him is to serve my own self-interest and escape a fiery eternity in hell, am I really loving him or myself?
Can a true friendship blossom under so grace a threat? Let's say I approach a recent acquaintance of mine, hoping to deepen our friendship. I say to him, "I have really appreciated the time we've been able to spend together and inf act, I'd like to see our realationship deepen and maybe become best friends. Would you like to spend some more time together over the next few months and see if that kind of friendship develops?"
So far, so good! But what if I added one more thing:"I hope you do because if you don't, I'm going to hunt you down and torture you for the rest of your life." Hasn't the invitation just taken an ominous turn? Even if he wanted to explore the potential of a friendship with me, it has now been twisted by my threat. What does it say about me? How will he ever feel safe in a friendship cultivated on fear?
Whether you are conscious of it or not, the threat of hell can create an inner dissonance in our perception of the God who seeks our love.
How can we feel safe with a God who is seemingly anxious to dangle us over the flames of hell? If he can find nothing else to call us to him, then what kind of God must he be? And if we find no better reason to love him, how shallow must our faith be?
CONTRADICTORY PORTRAITS
Here is the problem, isn't it? Scripture seems to pain two contradictory portraits of the Living God - a terrible judge and a loving father. Which is it? Can he be both?
We read no only that God has prepared hell for the unbelieving, but also that he commanded Joshua to practice ethnic cleansing in Canaan, poured out fire from heaven to consume Sodom and Gomorah, and opened the earth to swallow those who opposed Moses. Unapproachable in his purity, even the most most righteous fell on their faces near his presence, paralyzed by their unworthiness. He demanded unquestioning obedience and punished those who did not comply with unspeakable anguish.
No wonder we're at least a little confused when he appears in the New Testament and tells us how much he loves us and invites us to be his children. We saw Jesus healing the sick, forgiving prostitutes and murderers, going into the houses of sinners. He invited children into his lap and portrayed his Father as so tender that the most wayward sinner could run to his side in absolute safety.
So what happened to God? Did he get saved somewhere between Malachi and Matthew? Had he reinvented himself into a nicer, gentler God? Of course not! He is unchanging, the same throughout all eternity.
So then is he both? Is he kind and gentle to those who please him and vengeful toward the wicked? That's what many of us have been taught to believe, which is why we end up playing he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not games. We sift through every event to try and figure out if we are in his favor or out of it. If we think we are in, we can relax and coast through life. If, however, we think our difficulties probe we are out of favor, we have to try harder to please him; a course of action Paul warns us against. True righteousness cannot come from human effort.
There's the problem. I can't please him until I'm certain of his love for me, but he will not love me if I cannot please him. This is an endless loop that offers no resolution. How can he be a mean and vengeful God one moment and a kind and tender one the next? Those portraits don't depict the same God in different circumstances, but rather contradictory portraits that leave us confused and uncertain of God's true nature.
Unless we can glean from Scripture a cohesive view of God's nature we'll never know who he really is or have the confidence to embrace the relationship he desires with us. God did not change between Malachi and Matthew. Our perception of him, however, changed drastically.
Before Jesus came we could only see God's actions and assume he was moved by motivations similar to our own. His actions against sin made him appear as if he didn't care for people. His attempts to teach his people to trust him were misunderstood as vengeful punishment.
Jesus changed all of that. By listening to hi words and watching how he lived we suddenly see God's motivations. He fully reflected the Father's glory so we might know him as he really is and no longer be victims of our own misinterpretations. Love dwells at the core of God's being and the Old Testament contains hundreds of pictures of a God who is rich in mercy, willing to forgive, and passionate about setting us free from the sin that diminishes and devours the life he wants us to experience in him.
He allows us the consequences of sin, not because he delights in our anguish, but so that we can see its devastating effects and run to the only one in the universe who can set us free from them. His wrath against sin was not his rejection of us in anger, but only a reflection of the depth of his love that cannot look away unconcerned as sin destroys us.
These are not mere philosophical issues. If we aren't certain of God's motives toward us, we will never have confidence to engage his presence in the reality of our lives. We'll keep him at a safe distance and miss what he desires most for us - a friendship with him more real and more powerful than any we've known before."
I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Moment to Moment
I've not written about this because truthfully drama magnets drive me insane! You know the type - somehow it becomes all about them and how they are affected by whatever it is going on. Honestly, I have felt quite burdened and involved emotionally and just haven't wanted to make it about me at all! Because it just so isn't. However, the Lord is using an unexpected and disappointing circumstance to speak to me and teach me. And I am so grateful.
So the background story goes that our friends were pregnant with their second child, and during a routine ultrasound discovered that there were some "complications". Further testing told them that their baby, among a few other things (cleft pallate, organs in a sac outside of her body), had Trisomy 13 and would basically be born to die. I just can't even imagine. And so they prepared for the worst. We all did.
And so, no one knew what to expect. No, that's not true. We were all expecting sweet little Josie to die. Of course we hoped for the best and believed a miracle was possible, but when a medical professional says not to expect your baby to live, you maybe don't.
We were all nervous and emotional. But God says to lay our requests before Him. To petition Him, and that's what we did. We begged and petitioned God for His will, and yes, even a miracle - that he would give her chosen loving, incredible, joy-filled, spirit-filled, faithful, trusting, kind, amazing parents just a moment with her, just a few moments with her - heck, we started asking the Lord to be gracious and pleading with him for lots of time with her. "Lord, if ANYONE 'deserves' a miracle, it's Mark and Julie. Because they WILL, they DO testify to your goodness, no matter what. They WILL, they DO say He gives and takes away BLESSED is the name of the Lord".
Yesterday I celebrated her one WEEK birthday with some friends in prayers of thanksgiving. Today, one week and one day later (!!!!!!) I got to hold the sweet, precious, beautiful blessing of a miracle that is Josie Stahle.
In her short (but gratefully long) week of life I have already learned so much through Josie's wee life and our friends' experience. God has answered some really big and some small(er), specific prayers I've prayed and I have been so encouraged and spurred on. Every day, I am reminded how GOOD the Lord is to give us life, to keep our bodies working, and to thank him for a days worth of moments for the Stahles and their newest addition.
But I want to share what is so central in this: every moment is a blessing and a gift. I know we all "know" that, but do you know that?
I've had my share of trajic and sudden death experiences. And we all know life is short and to be enjoyed and celebrated. But this is really really resonating with me. I mean, my Spirit is stirred, and I am convicted about this.
Visiting with Mark and Julie was powerful. It's really moment to moment living for the Stahles. Things could go bad really fast, but they don't want to live in fear thinking about if there will be a tomorrow, or what troubles tomorrow may have. They want to embrace ever second and enjoy life together.
Matthew 6:34
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow has enough worry fot itself"
2 Timothy 1:7
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind."
Have you ever said, "Ugh, I just hate Mondays", or "I just can't wait for this day to be over". I sure have.
And I've always known better.
Now, I really know better.
So what does moment to momenet look like in my life? In your life? What baggage do you need to let go of? What grievance do I need to forgive? Where in my heart do I need to accept healing and move on? Am I enjoying my life? How was today, did I appreciate my children and the gifts that they are? How about my husband, my friend, my mom?
The truth of the matter is, we NEVER know what the next moment is going to bring. We can make an educated guess, or an assumption and probably be right. But maybe not.
For me, moment to moment living is the same as this whole "God Journey" that I'm on. It's trusting that everything is purposed and has a purpose. That when I am weak, He is strong. That every aspect of my life is God coming or going - He is always at work.
It's holding the important things in life near and dear to my heart. To not lose sight of the treasures that I CAN take with me (ie: people! the investment into my children), to not lose the faith, to not grow weary, but to fight the good fight, to finish the race that I am called to in Christ.
I'll end with this.
When I was living in Mexico with a missionary couple, Augustin said to me:
"I have worked with many teams from the states and from Canada. And everyone does it, but I notice that Canadians especially have this obsession to plan everything. I'm not saying that making plans is a bad thing, but when you don't leave room for God to work, there's a problem. And when you make your plans, you're usually less likely to move from them. God is a moment to moment God - he wants us to be obedient in every moment. I mean, if he tells you to laugh today and cry tomorrow - then if you're focused on tomorrow you'll be crying today instead of laughing. Laugh and enjoy today. Let tomorrow come and do what you need to do tomorrow."
(started this yesterday, finished it today)
So the background story goes that our friends were pregnant with their second child, and during a routine ultrasound discovered that there were some "complications". Further testing told them that their baby, among a few other things (cleft pallate, organs in a sac outside of her body), had Trisomy 13 and would basically be born to die. I just can't even imagine. And so they prepared for the worst. We all did.
And so, no one knew what to expect. No, that's not true. We were all expecting sweet little Josie to die. Of course we hoped for the best and believed a miracle was possible, but when a medical professional says not to expect your baby to live, you maybe don't.
We were all nervous and emotional. But God says to lay our requests before Him. To petition Him, and that's what we did. We begged and petitioned God for His will, and yes, even a miracle - that he would give her chosen loving, incredible, joy-filled, spirit-filled, faithful, trusting, kind, amazing parents just a moment with her, just a few moments with her - heck, we started asking the Lord to be gracious and pleading with him for lots of time with her. "Lord, if ANYONE 'deserves' a miracle, it's Mark and Julie. Because they WILL, they DO testify to your goodness, no matter what. They WILL, they DO say He gives and takes away BLESSED is the name of the Lord".
Yesterday I celebrated her one WEEK birthday with some friends in prayers of thanksgiving. Today, one week and one day later (!!!!!!) I got to hold the sweet, precious, beautiful blessing of a miracle that is Josie Stahle.
In her short (but gratefully long) week of life I have already learned so much through Josie's wee life and our friends' experience. God has answered some really big and some small(er), specific prayers I've prayed and I have been so encouraged and spurred on. Every day, I am reminded how GOOD the Lord is to give us life, to keep our bodies working, and to thank him for a days worth of moments for the Stahles and their newest addition.
But I want to share what is so central in this: every moment is a blessing and a gift. I know we all "know" that, but do you know that?
I've had my share of trajic and sudden death experiences. And we all know life is short and to be enjoyed and celebrated. But this is really really resonating with me. I mean, my Spirit is stirred, and I am convicted about this.
Visiting with Mark and Julie was powerful. It's really moment to moment living for the Stahles. Things could go bad really fast, but they don't want to live in fear thinking about if there will be a tomorrow, or what troubles tomorrow may have. They want to embrace ever second and enjoy life together.
Matthew 6:34
"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow has enough worry fot itself"
2 Timothy 1:7
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, love, and a sound mind."
Have you ever said, "Ugh, I just hate Mondays", or "I just can't wait for this day to be over". I sure have.
And I've always known better.
Now, I really know better.
So what does moment to momenet look like in my life? In your life? What baggage do you need to let go of? What grievance do I need to forgive? Where in my heart do I need to accept healing and move on? Am I enjoying my life? How was today, did I appreciate my children and the gifts that they are? How about my husband, my friend, my mom?
The truth of the matter is, we NEVER know what the next moment is going to bring. We can make an educated guess, or an assumption and probably be right. But maybe not.
For me, moment to moment living is the same as this whole "God Journey" that I'm on. It's trusting that everything is purposed and has a purpose. That when I am weak, He is strong. That every aspect of my life is God coming or going - He is always at work.
It's holding the important things in life near and dear to my heart. To not lose sight of the treasures that I CAN take with me (ie: people! the investment into my children), to not lose the faith, to not grow weary, but to fight the good fight, to finish the race that I am called to in Christ.
I'll end with this.
When I was living in Mexico with a missionary couple, Augustin said to me:
"I have worked with many teams from the states and from Canada. And everyone does it, but I notice that Canadians especially have this obsession to plan everything. I'm not saying that making plans is a bad thing, but when you don't leave room for God to work, there's a problem. And when you make your plans, you're usually less likely to move from them. God is a moment to moment God - he wants us to be obedient in every moment. I mean, if he tells you to laugh today and cry tomorrow - then if you're focused on tomorrow you'll be crying today instead of laughing. Laugh and enjoy today. Let tomorrow come and do what you need to do tomorrow."
(started this yesterday, finished it today)
Monday, July 12, 2010
The Church Journey
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm on a journey. And I'm ready to share a little bit of that journey with you.
It's been occuring for, well, my whole life. My journey in knowing God through the person of Jesus, what it means to know Him as my friend, my Father, my Provider. And I'm still on that journey and forever will be. That's the beauty of relationship.
In more recent years, my journey has been mostly focused on the Church and wondering what it is exactly, and what it "should" look like. It's raised all kinds of unomfortable questions, we've had plenty of frustrations, we've felt guilt in our questioning at times, and quite honestly we've been trough seasons of being critical and judgemental while working through our frustration. I have wondered if we're being rebellious and seeking validation in conversing with others or if we're truly being led by the Spirit away from something we feel trapped by into something we feel liberated in. Yes, it's been a journey full of ups and downs of all kinds. I look back at the last 5 years or so and am grateful for all of it because I know it was necessary for us and am grateful for the Lord's grace in it all!
Now we feel quite at peace with what we believe. We no longer look for validation in other's oppinions, and are confident that our God will continue to lead us.
I should say that if you are happy with the status quo of organized religion, that you may not want to read further. My hope is not to anger anyone but to share my heart, and just because we may see the beautiful, incredible Church differently I hope it will not estrange us!
To me, the Church is not some place we go, but something that we are. As far as organized religion and the institutional church go, Body Life is often defined by/as those who gather on Sunday morning for a praise concert and inspirational talking-to and "doing life together" in a small group setting.
I'm not saying this is wrong, just to be clear. Some Churches exist in this manner and do authentic, relational body life together really well! True fellowship is people sharing the journey of knowing Jesus, not going to the same event every week. It is where the acting Leaders aren't playing the politics game and running a business but are true servants. These churches are focused more on following Christ and being obedient to him than building a mega-church. I make no apologies for my disappointment with organized Christianity. It saddens me that many church leaders equate church attendace with their affectiveness for Christ in the world. Going to church and following Christ are not the same, and let's just stop treating them like they are. Are "against" mega churches? Of course not. And I can never judge the heart of the leaders! (In my experience that's never been an issue.) I just don't believe that all churches are called to be so large. Should we experience some kind of growth? Of course, but not necessarily in numbers that attend a gathering!
For example, a small church with only 50-100 people that hasn't "grown" in years might be experiencing an ever-depening relationship with God and real commitment to one another in love. This same church may also be doing a lot of good for those in their communities, cities, the world. Let us never equate size with effectiveness! I heard a Pastor say once, "If we will be faithful in depth, God will be faithful in breadth". How refreshing.
I'm not trying to be devisive here, and for those of you who attend Church I am not condemning you! Some Churches have a great thing going, and by all means, if you're experiencing the things I've been talking about, then praise God! I just want liberation from the stress and demands of most institutions. There's a reason why 80% of the people do 20% of the work! And I am honestly saddened and hurt by being treated, often, like a worker-bee.
Am I reacting out of hurt? I don't think so. Sure I've had to deal with experiences that have hurt me, but we all get hurt in relationships!
Please don't think that just because you attend a meeting means that you are experiencing true life in Christ and fellowship with others.
It's been occuring for, well, my whole life. My journey in knowing God through the person of Jesus, what it means to know Him as my friend, my Father, my Provider. And I'm still on that journey and forever will be. That's the beauty of relationship.
In more recent years, my journey has been mostly focused on the Church and wondering what it is exactly, and what it "should" look like. It's raised all kinds of unomfortable questions, we've had plenty of frustrations, we've felt guilt in our questioning at times, and quite honestly we've been trough seasons of being critical and judgemental while working through our frustration. I have wondered if we're being rebellious and seeking validation in conversing with others or if we're truly being led by the Spirit away from something we feel trapped by into something we feel liberated in. Yes, it's been a journey full of ups and downs of all kinds. I look back at the last 5 years or so and am grateful for all of it because I know it was necessary for us and am grateful for the Lord's grace in it all!
Now we feel quite at peace with what we believe. We no longer look for validation in other's oppinions, and are confident that our God will continue to lead us.
I should say that if you are happy with the status quo of organized religion, that you may not want to read further. My hope is not to anger anyone but to share my heart, and just because we may see the beautiful, incredible Church differently I hope it will not estrange us!
To me, the Church is not some place we go, but something that we are. As far as organized religion and the institutional church go, Body Life is often defined by/as those who gather on Sunday morning for a praise concert and inspirational talking-to and "doing life together" in a small group setting.
I'm not saying this is wrong, just to be clear. Some Churches exist in this manner and do authentic, relational body life together really well! True fellowship is people sharing the journey of knowing Jesus, not going to the same event every week. It is where the acting Leaders aren't playing the politics game and running a business but are true servants. These churches are focused more on following Christ and being obedient to him than building a mega-church. I make no apologies for my disappointment with organized Christianity. It saddens me that many church leaders equate church attendace with their affectiveness for Christ in the world. Going to church and following Christ are not the same, and let's just stop treating them like they are. Are "against" mega churches? Of course not. And I can never judge the heart of the leaders! (In my experience that's never been an issue.) I just don't believe that all churches are called to be so large. Should we experience some kind of growth? Of course, but not necessarily in numbers that attend a gathering!
For example, a small church with only 50-100 people that hasn't "grown" in years might be experiencing an ever-depening relationship with God and real commitment to one another in love. This same church may also be doing a lot of good for those in their communities, cities, the world. Let us never equate size with effectiveness! I heard a Pastor say once, "If we will be faithful in depth, God will be faithful in breadth". How refreshing.
I'm not trying to be devisive here, and for those of you who attend Church I am not condemning you! Some Churches have a great thing going, and by all means, if you're experiencing the things I've been talking about, then praise God! I just want liberation from the stress and demands of most institutions. There's a reason why 80% of the people do 20% of the work! And I am honestly saddened and hurt by being treated, often, like a worker-bee.
Am I reacting out of hurt? I don't think so. Sure I've had to deal with experiences that have hurt me, but we all get hurt in relationships!
It's obvious that we all have different styles, different needs and different ways to serve and express. Wherever you are, look to be in deep fellowship with other believers and be your part however Jesus calls you to do that."Perhaps all of us have experienced some measure of pain as we have tried to fit God's life into nstitutions. For a long time most of us hung in there hoping if
we tweaked a few things it would get better.
Though we could be successful in limited ways during moments of renewal, we also discovered that eventually the conformity an institution demands and the freedom people need to grow in Christ
are at odds with one another. It has happened with virtually every group formed throughout the history of Christianity." (Jake Colsen)
Please don't think that just because you attend a meeting means that you are experiencing true life in Christ and fellowship with others.
Ultimately what matters most to me is not where or how we/others meet, but whether or not people are focused on Jesus and really helping each other on the journey to becoming like him. Meetings are less the issue here than the quality of relationships.
I'm looking for people to share life with and deepen my faith and grow with. And I hope to play that role for others God brings my way.
And there is just a peice of my heart!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Energized By Prayer
Psalm 5:3 "In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.""Pray, and let God worry" -Martin Luther
I was part of a prayer gathering today and left feeling very energized. I love that instead of saying we would pray we just did it.
So often I find myself telling someone I will pray for them instead of stopping and praying right then and there.
Prayer is powerful. Why, because it's a cause and effect thing between us and God? Yes and no.
I don't believe that God really needs us to pray. I mean, He is the Sovereign God of the Universe! But maybe he wants us to pray. Like, talking to Him, as if we are actually friends. To some, this is a brand new concept. It's Prayer 101. Prayer is simply put, talking to God, and listening to hear Him speak to us. Prayer is conversation with Him and He wants us to talk to Him!
In the New Testament, Paul tells the church: (Philippians 4:6-7)
Max Lucado says that when we entrust our requests to God we must trust Him to honor them with holy judgment. Sometimes His ways don't make sense to us, sometimes they confuses us and cause us to shake our heads and wonder, "why?" Hey, that's ok. I just hope that I can encourage you to hold on to trusting God with His eternal purpose in all things. Trust Him that one day it will all make sense. One day we'll have that "ah-ha!" moment and worship Him for His wisdom.
Have you ever prayed for something, and God hasn't given to you? And at the time you've felt upset or frustrated by the answer you received ("no"), but then later been grateful that He didn't answer it your way? I've had that SO many times in my life! I love that song by Garth Brooks "Thank God For Unanswered Prayer".
Today, I feel confirmed and encouraged in two things I have always known in my spirit:
1. a)I am told to pray. It's my job as a follower of Christ to pray. And pray big.
b)What God does with my prayers, and how He chooses to answer them are none of my business. I'm just to obediently pray.
2. When I pray, I am involving myself in God's work. Therefore will be blessed as a result.
For example, if someone I know has a need and I am praying for them, talking to God about that need or better still, if several of us gather to pray for things, what do you think it will do to our faith when we see God answer our prayers? Ignite us! Encourage us! Bless us!
When we don't pray, when we don't come together and bring our petitions and requests to the Lord, we're missing out.
The truth is, as believers I feel sad that we aren't as eager to petition God. We pay it a lot of lip service and don't show a lot of action.
Often, we're more interested in planning our events than praying for them.
In the New Testament, Paul tells the church: (Philippians 4:6-7)
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."And we can come BOLDLY: (Hebrews 4:16)
“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it”Scripture is packed of people speaking with God boldly and honestly. When we have faith to trust Him, then perfect love from the father casts out all fear! (1 John 4:18) Being bold, however is not the same as being bossy! It's being confident that God is listening, that He will hear us, and that He will answer us. And I think that's where most of us get stuck: His answers.
Max Lucado says that when we entrust our requests to God we must trust Him to honor them with holy judgment. Sometimes His ways don't make sense to us, sometimes they confuses us and cause us to shake our heads and wonder, "why?" Hey, that's ok. I just hope that I can encourage you to hold on to trusting God with His eternal purpose in all things. Trust Him that one day it will all make sense. One day we'll have that "ah-ha!" moment and worship Him for His wisdom.
Have you ever prayed for something, and God hasn't given to you? And at the time you've felt upset or frustrated by the answer you received ("no"), but then later been grateful that He didn't answer it your way? I've had that SO many times in my life! I love that song by Garth Brooks "Thank God For Unanswered Prayer".
Today, I feel confirmed and encouraged in two things I have always known in my spirit:
1. a)I am told to pray. It's my job as a follower of Christ to pray. And pray big.
b)What God does with my prayers, and how He chooses to answer them are none of my business. I'm just to obediently pray.
2. When I pray, I am involving myself in God's work. Therefore will be blessed as a result.
For example, if someone I know has a need and I am praying for them, talking to God about that need or better still, if several of us gather to pray for things, what do you think it will do to our faith when we see God answer our prayers? Ignite us! Encourage us! Bless us!
When we don't pray, when we don't come together and bring our petitions and requests to the Lord, we're missing out.
The truth is, as believers I feel sad that we aren't as eager to petition God. We pay it a lot of lip service and don't show a lot of action.
Often, we're more interested in planning our events than praying for them.
"Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work." -Oswald ChambersOften, I'm more ready and willing to talk about this than just do it.
"God never gives us discernment in order that we may criticize, but that we may intercede." - Oswald Chambers
If you have a prayer request, send it my way because I would be honoured to pray for you and with you if you want!
Silly Blogs, Silly Opinions and Oh, My Apologies
I'm not necessarily calling your blog stupid. Though I might be.
If you ever read my very first blog entry, it was all about why I didn't like blogs. Today I was reminded of that again, except now that I have a blog, I couldn't help but feel a little offended. Stupid blogs.
My friend - who shall remain nameless - is someone I have so much respect for because she doesn't hold back. She speaks her mind, and speaks it without apology. Almost always, I feel so very refreshed after being around her. Probably because she says what I'm thinking, but I'm not going to get in trouble for it! Ha! Even when she says something I don't share the same view about, I come away challenged and thinking; I love that!
I have a constant inward battle of holding my tongue and speaking my mind. I definitely hold some strong opinions, of questioning things that make people uncomfortable to question, of being so very disappointed in the Church and it's leaders, of hating the injustices in our world that so many of us are just plain ignorant to or chose to do absolutely nothing about.
So many times I begin to write, but never post it because of who might read it and if I will be offending them or not. But I want to be true to who I am, to the journey that I am on (Nate and I), and the things we are thinking, feeling, questioning, exploring. Why should I care if someone is offended (as long as I'm not being offensive)? Can't we hold an opinion too? (Opinions, my friend once said, are like butt holes: everyone's got one and thinks everyone else's stinks! lol So true, isn't it?)
Let me be clear though: I am very open to the idea that I am wrong about things. Really! Having kids has humbled me greatly. There was a lot I thought I knew all about when I had Larissa and now realize I didn't have a clue! A good life-lesson. So I will never claim to be completely set in something (even if at the time I feel or think that I am!).
I'm also the wife of someone who plays a leadership role at our church. What would people say if we expressed feelings and questions we had about it all? (Don't worry, we've been honest with the Pastor - as much as he's interested in hearing and discussing anyways.) See - then I wouldn't really be building people up, even if I'm not saying anything negative, the truth is that for some, to question things or a way of doing them that has never been questioned before would just cause disunity and distention - two things that I never want to be a part of! But questioning the "norm" always causes some to be upset. Hey, that's what my Jesus was all about - upsetting the religious guys! So if it gets people thinking a little ....
I don't know, I have this fantasy where I'm this quiet, meek, mild, amazing little wife. Much like Carolyn Ingills (Little House on the Prairie's "Ma"). I just do the mom thing, am a good friend, and only speak my mind when absolutely necessary. It's this little life where I talk only to God about my thoughts and opinions because I don't want to negatively affect anyone else. But.... But... But....
So, back to blogging: this friend said she didn't read blogs of mothers because, well, they're braggy. I agree 100000% and there are certain blogs I don't read because I feel like they are very much showing off. I don't read them and feel encouraged, I feel like what I'm doing isn't enough. Yuck. And though that isn't the intention of the writers I'm sure, it is what it is.
But I can't help but feel a little guilty. Have I posted things about our kids and things they do? Yes. Am I a proud Mama? Absolutely.
Could that all come off as me bragging? Certainly it could and probably does.
Do I post pictures about how in love with my children I am? Yep, guilty as charged. Do I do that because I want everyone else to think that? Definitely not, but of course compliments are nice, I'm just honestly not seeking them out.
She also said that she celebrates the ordinary. Her kids, she said, aren't the most beautiful, or intelligent (her words, not mine! I think her kids I have met are in fact nice looking, and more importantly beautiful people, like she is). But she celebrates them.
I told her she should blog about it.
But if she blogged about how her kid works at Timmy's and how she is proud of him/her (I don't know who it is), then that's awesome. To her, her kid is amazing and should be celebrated. If she wrote about it, could it come across as braggy? Maybe. That's probably why she doesn't! lol
I would just like to take a moment and say that I am sorry if you've ever read my blog and felt I was bragging. I sure haven't meant to.
I'd like to explain that part of the reason I wanted to blog about our kids and their activities is because we are choosing to home school for the next year at least, and we have a lot of friends and family who are teachers and well, might have negative opinions about it. So this past year I wanted to show that school at home can be engaging, wonderful, creative, purposeful and "successful". It's also a good way for family and friends who are far away to keep in touch and updated. You know, like instead of that once a year Christmas update/newsletter (which I NEVER get around to writing!) it's a click away to see what we've been up to.
And I want to express myself and my journey - but have been afraid to. So I've kept it a little more surfacey. But I'm thinking that might change soon. So if in blogs-to-come I offend you, please know that I don't mean to. I'm just on a journey too and want to perhaps begin sharing that with others. But not because I need to feel validated, but because that's how we can grow - by discussing. By disagreeing and debating, and questioning, and exploring the uncomfortable or the unknown. Let's just do it respectfully.
If you ever read my very first blog entry, it was all about why I didn't like blogs. Today I was reminded of that again, except now that I have a blog, I couldn't help but feel a little offended. Stupid blogs.
My friend - who shall remain nameless - is someone I have so much respect for because she doesn't hold back. She speaks her mind, and speaks it without apology. Almost always, I feel so very refreshed after being around her. Probably because she says what I'm thinking, but I'm not going to get in trouble for it! Ha! Even when she says something I don't share the same view about, I come away challenged and thinking; I love that!
I have a constant inward battle of holding my tongue and speaking my mind. I definitely hold some strong opinions, of questioning things that make people uncomfortable to question, of being so very disappointed in the Church and it's leaders, of hating the injustices in our world that so many of us are just plain ignorant to or chose to do absolutely nothing about.
So many times I begin to write, but never post it because of who might read it and if I will be offending them or not. But I want to be true to who I am, to the journey that I am on (Nate and I), and the things we are thinking, feeling, questioning, exploring. Why should I care if someone is offended (as long as I'm not being offensive)? Can't we hold an opinion too? (Opinions, my friend once said, are like butt holes: everyone's got one and thinks everyone else's stinks! lol So true, isn't it?)
Let me be clear though: I am very open to the idea that I am wrong about things. Really! Having kids has humbled me greatly. There was a lot I thought I knew all about when I had Larissa and now realize I didn't have a clue! A good life-lesson. So I will never claim to be completely set in something (even if at the time I feel or think that I am!).
I'm also the wife of someone who plays a leadership role at our church. What would people say if we expressed feelings and questions we had about it all? (Don't worry, we've been honest with the Pastor - as much as he's interested in hearing and discussing anyways.) See - then I wouldn't really be building people up, even if I'm not saying anything negative, the truth is that for some, to question things or a way of doing them that has never been questioned before would just cause disunity and distention - two things that I never want to be a part of! But questioning the "norm" always causes some to be upset. Hey, that's what my Jesus was all about - upsetting the religious guys! So if it gets people thinking a little ....
I don't know, I have this fantasy where I'm this quiet, meek, mild, amazing little wife. Much like Carolyn Ingills (Little House on the Prairie's "Ma"). I just do the mom thing, am a good friend, and only speak my mind when absolutely necessary. It's this little life where I talk only to God about my thoughts and opinions because I don't want to negatively affect anyone else. But.... But... But....
So, back to blogging: this friend said she didn't read blogs of mothers because, well, they're braggy. I agree 100000% and there are certain blogs I don't read because I feel like they are very much showing off. I don't read them and feel encouraged, I feel like what I'm doing isn't enough. Yuck. And though that isn't the intention of the writers I'm sure, it is what it is.
But I can't help but feel a little guilty. Have I posted things about our kids and things they do? Yes. Am I a proud Mama? Absolutely.
Could that all come off as me bragging? Certainly it could and probably does.
Do I post pictures about how in love with my children I am? Yep, guilty as charged. Do I do that because I want everyone else to think that? Definitely not, but of course compliments are nice, I'm just honestly not seeking them out.
She also said that she celebrates the ordinary. Her kids, she said, aren't the most beautiful, or intelligent (her words, not mine! I think her kids I have met are in fact nice looking, and more importantly beautiful people, like she is). But she celebrates them.
I told her she should blog about it.
But if she blogged about how her kid works at Timmy's and how she is proud of him/her (I don't know who it is), then that's awesome. To her, her kid is amazing and should be celebrated. If she wrote about it, could it come across as braggy? Maybe. That's probably why she doesn't! lol
I would just like to take a moment and say that I am sorry if you've ever read my blog and felt I was bragging. I sure haven't meant to.
I'd like to explain that part of the reason I wanted to blog about our kids and their activities is because we are choosing to home school for the next year at least, and we have a lot of friends and family who are teachers and well, might have negative opinions about it. So this past year I wanted to show that school at home can be engaging, wonderful, creative, purposeful and "successful". It's also a good way for family and friends who are far away to keep in touch and updated. You know, like instead of that once a year Christmas update/newsletter (which I NEVER get around to writing!) it's a click away to see what we've been up to.
And I want to express myself and my journey - but have been afraid to. So I've kept it a little more surfacey. But I'm thinking that might change soon. So if in blogs-to-come I offend you, please know that I don't mean to. I'm just on a journey too and want to perhaps begin sharing that with others. But not because I need to feel validated, but because that's how we can grow - by discussing. By disagreeing and debating, and questioning, and exploring the uncomfortable or the unknown. Let's just do it respectfully.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Do Hard Things ???
You know it's hot when you're not even moving and you're sweating.
Yeah, I'm that gross right now.
Have you ever heard of the book, "Do Hard Things"? I have only heard of it, I haven't read it. But that's what's coming to my mind as I sit here and smell myself.
Do hard things eh? Doesn't the sound of it just make you a little uncomfortable? I mean, who actually willfully chooses to do something that's hard? Not me. Not by my own nature. C'mon, if there is an easy way to do something, or a hard way, what would you choose? Be honest - the easy way. Don't feel bad about it, it's usually thesmart thing to do!
Ok, so my exhausted late night ramble originates from my decision today to NOT turn on the AC. That's right. It's 36 degrees out and I have AC and CHOSE not to turn it on. More than once I made the walk to the thermos stat, stared at it, then convinced myself that we could do it. We could make it without it. Most of the world does. And truthfully, we are cutting back - willing to sacrifice to chip away at our debt so we can be FREE.
So while I feel like somewhat of a cruel mom making her kids sweat, it's not bad for them and it certainly won't kill them. So we'll spend more time outside with the hose or baby pool. So we'll take a little longer grocery shopping if need be. Libraries are wonderful places should it get TOO hot. And a fan is a wonderful invention.
Of course, Nathan is on board. I wouldn't suggest it if he wasn't, but his idea is that we all campout in the basement where it's 10 degrees cooler if we need to. What do you know, a little adventure, a little family bonding, and memories being made.
So you know, sometimes the uncomfortable brings a blessing. Sometimes we grow by doing things we just don't really like.
Yeah, I'm that gross right now.
Have you ever heard of the book, "Do Hard Things"? I have only heard of it, I haven't read it. But that's what's coming to my mind as I sit here and smell myself.
Do hard things eh? Doesn't the sound of it just make you a little uncomfortable? I mean, who actually willfully chooses to do something that's hard? Not me. Not by my own nature. C'mon, if there is an easy way to do something, or a hard way, what would you choose? Be honest - the easy way. Don't feel bad about it, it's usually the
Ok, so my exhausted late night ramble originates from my decision today to NOT turn on the AC. That's right. It's 36 degrees out and I have AC and CHOSE not to turn it on. More than once I made the walk to the thermos stat, stared at it, then convinced myself that we could do it. We could make it without it. Most of the world does. And truthfully, we are cutting back - willing to sacrifice to chip away at our debt so we can be FREE.
So while I feel like somewhat of a cruel mom making her kids sweat, it's not bad for them and it certainly won't kill them. So we'll spend more time outside with the hose or baby pool. So we'll take a little longer grocery shopping if need be. Libraries are wonderful places should it get TOO hot. And a fan is a wonderful invention.
Of course, Nathan is on board. I wouldn't suggest it if he wasn't, but his idea is that we all campout in the basement where it's 10 degrees cooler if we need to. What do you know, a little adventure, a little family bonding, and memories being made.
So you know, sometimes the uncomfortable brings a blessing. Sometimes we grow by doing things we just don't really like.
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