"It's Plain Not Fair"

She's angry. She's hurt. She feels betrayed somehow. "Why are they leaving?"

Oh baby girl, mommy knows.

The last month and a half has been a little tougher on the more emotional of the household.

It feels like we've lost our best friends. Probably because we sort-of have.

One moved across town, another moved across the freak'n ocean. And next year we'll lose another special family - hopefully they will still be in the province.
Oh, and most recently, to top it off Nana left for Florida last week. (Not for too long though!)

While I am happy for new homes and new adventures, and while we encourage our children to share in the joys of their friends as we do, we can't tell them and won't encourage them to deny what they are feeling.

It's hard. It's hard to not be able to just pick up a phone, or run down the street. It's hard to not see some of the most important people in your life as often as you used to. It's hard adjusting to a new normal. But that's life. Life goes on. Of course life goes on. But while it's going on, there is some adjusting.

Tonight Larissa was feeling angry. She said, "I feel angry that Nana left. Why doesn't she like cold weather? It's plain not fair and I feel angry. Christmas is NOT coming soon." What followed was some emotion that wasn't really just about Nana leaving. The goodbye's are catching up with her. They are starting to really catch up with me too.

I've been realizing how my flesh wants to deal with my hurt. If my flesh had it's way I would totally binge on that Costco-sized bag of Miss Vicky's, buy myself that $40 bra I really want AND the leather couch, drink a little more coffee and another glass of red wine, and a nice cigar. But I'm not all flesh; I am mind and Spirit also.

Common sense knows better. Spirit really knows better.
I don't need debt, a hangover or 10 extra pounds. And wisdom tells me that I would still feel the same if I indulged myself. The Spirit inside me knows that life is full of changes and that while life has a bit of a different flavor recently, it's ok.

It's ok because change can be a good thing. We trust that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him - and we definitely do. He cares about the hurts we feel, the loneliness in our hearts, the questions we have - and it's good and right to work through all those things. We can experience sadness while still having joy in our hearts. It doesn't make sense, so we often walk either in habitual sadness or denial of it in pursuit of joy. I have both - life is both wonderfully good and yet I taste the melancholy. So we're going with it. And walking with our babies as they learn that life isn't all play and princesses, but that they can trust their constant, reliable, dependable Heavenly Father. He promises to never leave us or forsake us! What a promise!

And here comes that joy....